Estate Planning as a New Parent

My wife and I just welcomed our fourth child - a baby girl after three boys - and took the

opportunity to update our wills and estate planning documents. Our little one even got to

witness her first estate planning signing (though she slept through most of it).

Naming a Guardian for Your Children

Having an estate plan is especially important when you have children. The most critical

decision is naming a physical guardian - someone who would care for your child or

children if both parents were to pass away before they turn 18. Without clear

instructions, the courts could step in, and you risk a situation where grandparents,

aunts, and uncles are left arguing or even going to court during an already painful and

emotional time. You know your family better than any judge, so it’s worth taking the time

to document your wishes.

It’s also important to regularly review and update your guardian choices as your children

grow and circumstances change. For instance, grandparents who were healthy when

the kids were young may now be facing health challenges. Maybe your younger brother

has matured, settled down, and started his own family - making him a great candidate to

take over. Or perhaps your sister, who once lived nearby, has moved across the country

and you’d prefer your kids to finish school locally. Life changes - and your estate plan

should keep up.

Other Important Considerations for Parents

The next big consideration is financial planning. Who will manage the money for your

children? You may want someone different from the guardian to serve as trustee. For

example, a trustee managing the father's assets could be from his side of the family,

while someone from the mother's side might oversee her assets. Trustees will be

responsible for covering essentials like clothing, extracurriculars, medical expenses -

and perhaps vacations or other discretionary spending. Consider: How much of the

family’s money should go toward these extras? Do you want someone impartial to help

make those decisions?

Another key question is when your children should gain access to their inheritance.

Should they receive funds outright at 18, 21, 25 - or in staggered percentages over

time? Maybe you want them to use the money for education or a home down payment,

but not much else until they’re older. Your decision might depend on the projected size

of the trust or your children's maturity.

If you have a child with special needs, estate planning becomes even more critical.

Depending on their capabilities, they may never be able to manage finances

independently. Worse, inheriting money outright could jeopardize their eligibility for

essential benefits like Medicaid or subsidized housing. To protect their future, you can

set up a Special Needs Trust - either directly in your will or by giving your executor

discretion to do so.

Finally, divorce adds another layer of complexity. If you're separated or in the process of

divorcing, speak with a Trusts & Estates attorney as soon as possible. You’ll want to

ensure that if something happens to you before the divorce is finalized, as much of your

estate as possible goes directly to your children - not your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

A Final Thought

Life as a parent can feel nonstop, and it’s easy to put off something like estate planning.

But some things are too important to delay. If you have minor children and no estate

plan in place, now is the time to talk with your co-parent, make some decisions, and

consult a qualified Trusts & Estates attorney.

LEARN MORE about Planning for Young Couples

OUT IN THE COMMUNITY

Last month, I attended the Alzheimer’s Association New York City Chapter Volunteer

Appreciation event in honor of National Volunteer Week. I have chaired the Chapter’s

Legal Committee since 2017 and always enjoy connecting with fellow volunteers.