Planning Ahead: Solo Aging and Estate Planning

Not long ago, I met with a client in her late 60s—we’ll call her Susan. She never married, had no children, and lives independently in Manhattan. She told me, “I’m healthy now, but what happens when I can’t manage things myself? Who’s going to help me?”

Her question captures the essence of solo aging: planning for the future without a built-in safety net of a spouse or children. This comes with unique trusts and estates and elder law considerations. The good news is, with thoughtful planning, solo agers can design a secure and dignified path forward.

Why Solo Agers Need a Different Kind of Plan

Most Estate Planning assumes there will be family members—children, spouses, or siblings—ready to step in. For solo agers, that assumption may not hold. Instead, it’s critical to name trusted decision-makers and build systems that provide support, even if family isn’t nearby (or isn’t available at all).

Key issues include:

• Who will make medical and financial decisions if you can’t?

• How will you pay for long-term care?

• Who will carry out your wishes after you’re gone?

Let’s take a closer look.

Choosing Fiduciaries: Who Steps In?

In New York, if you don’t have a Health Care Proxy or Power of Attorney, the courts may need to appoint a guardian if you lose capacity. This process is public, time-consuming, and expensive—and the person appointed may not be who you would have chosen.

For solo agers, it’s especially important to:

• Sign a Power of Attorney naming someone you trust (a friend, a relative, or even a professional fiduciary).

• Execute a Health Care Proxy to designate who can make medical decisions.

• Consider naming a professional trustee or executor if there are no family members able to serve. Banks, trust companies, or law firms can fill these roles.

At our firm, we often serve in these fiduciary capacities—as Power of Attorney, Executor, or Trustee—for clients who prefer to appoint a trusted professional rather than leaving the responsibility to distant relatives or friends.

Planning for Long-Term Care

Another reality for solo agers: the likelihood of needing home care, assisted living, or nursing care increases with age.

In New York, the cost of a private nursing home room can exceed $180,000 per year, and even assisted living averages $7,000–$10,000 per month (and higher in Manhattan). Without careful planning, these costs can quickly consume assets.

Tools to consider:

• Long-Term Care Insurance (if affordable).

• Medicaid Planning, including the use of Medicaid Asset Protection Trusts (MAPTs), which can shield assets from nursing home costs if created at least 2.5 years (for home care) or 5 years (for nursing homes) before you need care.

• Home care arrangements. Think through who will hire and pay for aides if you cannot manage this yourself. Some clients appoint a trustee or agent specifically for this role.

• Living arrangements. Some explore senior communities or cooperative housing early, while they’re healthy, so they can build support networks before a crisis hits.

Building Your Support Team

Solo agers don’t just need legal documents—they need a team of trusted professionals who can step in as life unfolds. I often recommend assembling:

1. An estate planning and elder law attorney to prepare documents and update them as laws or circumstances change.

2. A CPA to handle tax filings and financial reporting.

3. A financial advisor to manage investments and cash flow.

4. A geriatric care manager (or aging life care professional) to coordinate medical care, evaluate housing options, and be an advocate as health needs change.

Having these advisors on the same page—and introducing them to one another—creates a network of support. For a solo ager, this team can function like an extended family, making sure nothing falls through the cracks.

Protecting Your Legacy

Even without children, solo agers often want to leave a legacy—whether to nieces and nephews, close friends, or charitable causes.

Trusts can be especially useful:

• Revocable Living Trusts can help avoid probate (especially helpful if you own property in multiple states).

• Charitable Trusts or Foundations can extend your values into the future.

• Pet Trusts are increasingly common for those who want to ensure a beloved animal is cared for.

For Susan, we created a revocable living trust that:

• Provided for her care during life.

• Named a professional trustee to manage things if she became incapacitated.

• Directed the remainder to charities she had supported for decades.

She told me she finally felt at peace—because she knew her future was no longer left to chance.

A Final Thought

Solo aging doesn’t mean aging alone. With thoughtful planning, you can make sure your wishes are honored, your care needs are met, and your legacy lives on.

If you’re navigating solo aging in New York—or in New Jersey, Connecticut, or Florida—I’d be honored to help you put a plan in place.

Out in the Community

I enjoyed jazz and seeing colleagues at the National Aging in Place NY Council event on July 17th at The Watermark, Brooklyn Heights.

During August, I was quoted heavily in THIS ARTICLE appearing in Greenlight.  In it, I discuss protections to prevent older adults from being scammed, such as Trusts and daily limits on account withdrawals, and to limit exposure if they are scammed.

On September 25th at 6 PM  via Zoom, I will be presenting through Alzheimer's Association NYC on Managing Money: A Caregiver's Guide to Finances – Long-term Care, Estate Planning and Managing Money. Register HERE.